The Other Side of the World: the day of screaming

Friday, December 28, 2007

the day of screaming

I've listened with a sort of bewildered sadness, to women (including both the piglet's grandmothers) speaking of how they birthed quietly, mutedly, how they were "good" and "didn't bother the nurses" and held it all in. I'm not sure I'm hearing a story of peaceful birth from them. . . in fact, it seems restricted and repressed more than anything else. When it was my turn to usher in the first of the next generation - I did not labour peacefully (although I suspect there were peaceful moments). On the other hand, repressed as a concept has no place in my birth story: I screamed - and so long and deep and hard, I felt exhausted as the sound wildly shot out across the room and through the neighbourhood and the entire cosmos. I roared because the power surging through me insisted on bursting right through my vocal cords. I kicked the lovely daddy and snarled and shrieked and moaned and wailed and commanded and promised him I was dying for hours on end. I pleaded with my baby to come down! come down!. . .down! I swore in several languages at my patient, calm midwives. I ran, naked, around the kitchen amidst the pale morning tableau of birth supplies and clean dishes - roaring and banging my fists into the wooden cabinets, thrusting suddenly into deep squats and grabbing violently, blindly at my midwife's legs perched upon a tall stool. I was miserable, and I was exhilarated. and I am everlastingly proud and honoured and grateful that everyone present, and especially I, knew enough to trust the power of the screaming. Look what it did! Look what my beautiful, wild, wonderous screaming did! - really - don't let the sweet innocent look fool you, I'm a roaring mama!

10 Comments:

Blogger LadyBug said...

Its so great to have you blogging again :)

12:11 AM  
Blogger Kt said...

I second that! Happy New Year to you and your lovely family M!

12:32 PM  
Blogger emma said...

Oh I've missed your words so much!!!!

10:51 AM  
Blogger Morag said...

And that my dear sounds exactly right.
ow women birth silently amazes me. Largely because I couldn't imagine birthing without bellowing too.
SO crazy proud. And thrilled to have you back on in the blog saddle.
Xx

9:39 PM  
Blogger barb michelen said...

look this is the "diet" i told you about you should really enter the site :) bye enter the site

9:41 PM  
Blogger Sunshine said...

Screaming...roaring.....moaning......yelling.....hollering....weeping.....crying....

they all work, thank you for the story, we need more stories out there that show a woman "out of control" but in her power.

Lovely....thank you

7:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is just how I imagined you:)

Did you knit that little sweater btw? :)

Claire xx

5:23 AM  
Anonymous vanoni said...

haha.. that frog like torso. perfetto.

12:08 AM  
Blogger barb michelen said...

Hello I just entered before I have to leave to the airport, it's been very nice to meet you, if you want here is the site I told you about where I type some stuff and make good money (I work from home): here it is

2:39 PM  
Blogger karen said...

ahhh. this merits a conversation with someone in particular, where you can rightfully & steadfastly hold your position that yes, damn straight is it okay to scream! when are you returning, or are you here already?? see you soon! x

4:42 PM  

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